Nothing Matters Now.
Looking for the familiar face, that familiar walk, your familiar smile.
A smile which completes me.
I search our common grounds, our common haunts, the old familiar places we used to visit.
I stand, lost in thoughts, wondering at what could have been, wondering at the way we parted.
I wish I could reverse time, take back the things I've said, undo the things I've done.
The memory of you brings a sharp pain to my heart, and this is a pain which refuses to diminish with time. A pain that does not lose its poetic quality, a pain which refuses to let me go.
Today I stood, for a long hour, at that most familial place, waiting to catch a glimpse of you. A fluttering heartbeat says that when others have been so lucky, why not me?
Today I stood, for a painful hour, at that most familiar place, hoping for you to come walking towards me with that innocent smile on your tender face.
That absolute look of delight which fleets by your face at the sight of me.
Which used to fleet by your face at the familiar sight of me.
What more should I say? The disappointment is immense when I realise I am foolishly waiting for something which will never happen again.
I have been too cruel to you.
I have been inconsiderate of your feelings.
I left when you needed me. I left when I still needed you. This has left a big hole in my heart, a deep emptiness which no one can fill.
I spend my time now brooding on dark thoughts, brooding on the feeling of loss.
nothing matters now.
nothing will ever matter again.
without you.
my dear.
I miss you.
